Around 4pm I got motivated, so I went outside, and got on my bike. I decided that a trip to leonard would be nice, as I hadn’t rode the pollyann trail since last summer.

So, I hopped on the trail, and hammered the first 3 miles to lake george road, and was feeling pretty good. So, I continued down the trail, and this went on for a littel while, until I finally reached downtown leonard. In downtown Leonard, my odometer read 6 miles.

In downtown leonard I stopped by a party store, and got an energy drink because those usually help. While I was standing around, I got the bright idea to take the roads back to oxford. So, I took a look around, and tried to figure out which direction would take me back to oxford. I decided to head up what I remember to be “elmwood road”. This would prove to be my biggest mistake of at least the past year.

So, I rode elmwood in hopes that I would soon find a dirt road of some kind, but this did not happen. The road was very hilly, and I told myself that I would not turn around and ride it again because I hated the hills, mistake #2.

As I continued down the road, I saw a sign which read “welcome to Dryden, where kindness is served country style” or some shit. I’m not well versed with the order of towns, and thought that I might be in the route to oxford. Mistake #3.

I continued down these roads, having no idea where I was, or what direction I was traveling in. Eventually I learned that I was in fact on rochester road. I could not see the sun because it was so cloudy, so I had no way of telling if i was headed north, south, east, or west. I only had faith that I would reach oxford before Tuesday. Also on my mind was the risk that it was going to start raining. Thankfully, god granted me this pardon.

I continued down rochester road for an unknown distance, at least 15 miles. The sun finally poked through, and I could see that it was east. I checked the time on my computer, and i had been on the bike for 1.5 hours. The sun sets at 8pm I remembered, so I decided I’d better hurry or else i’d be really fucked.

In the middle of nowhere, I saw a sign advertising a business which said it was on Lake George Road, which was off some other road, i can’t remember. I took a turn on this road, and finally found lake george road. However, it was paved. I had never been on the paved section of lake george road, I didn’t even know it was paved. Regardless, I continued on this road in hopes that I would reach oxford.

Lake george road is an extremely long road. I travelled down this thing for at least an hour and a half, when I finally saw a sign that scared the fuck out of me: “Welcome to Oakland County”. “Are you fucking kidding me!?” I shouted in the middle of the woods. I continued down this road; thirsty, exhausted, afraid, nervous, and pissed off, all at the same time. I finally waved a car down, and asked the older gentleman inside where I was. He told me that I was about 5 miles from lakeville road. “Oh happy day” i said to myself. I hopped back on my bike, and rushed as quickly as I could down lake george road, and after about 20 minutes I was finally at the entrance back to the pollyann trail. I got off my bike, and stumbled around, trying to gain some sanity after what i’d been through. I felt as if I’d been molested by the road commission. Why can’t we have public map posts? Just a sign that shows the roads, and have a star where we are. The mall has one at every entrance. Why can’t roads?

I continued back down the pollyann trail for the remaining 3 miles. I couldn’t feel my arms, or feet. My neck was aching, my ass was numb, my vision had blurred, and i had sweat dripping from my nose. I rocked down the trail, and finally got home. When I got home, I dropped my bike on the lawn, and fell down. “I made it” I thought to myself. I then stepped inside, and had a cup of water, and a couple of hot dogs for dinner.

Maybe I’ll do this some other time. It was quite the trip.