Since I was in high school, I’ve taken the often unpopular role of ACLU supporter. While everyone else bitched about the things they fought, I supported them, because I believed that if a legitimate violation of the people’s rights were to happen, that the ACLU would be at the front of the fight against government-enforced fascism.

During the past several years, I have witnessed several prime violations of the rights of Adult americans. This isn’t a case of some 15 year old being told he can’t wear his promotional satanism t-shirt to school. This is a case of laws being written & voted into law in clear violation of the rights of adults.

I speak of the following:

1) Smoking ban in Chicago, Portland, New York, and several other localities
2) Trans fat ban in New York, and several other localities
3) The upcoming ban of black automobiles in California

Each of these laws, and probably many others I haven’t heard about are a direct violation of the rights of Americans.

Nobody should be able to tell a bar owner that he cannot allow smoking in his bar. It should be his god damn decision, and nobody else’s. If there’s enough consumer demand to ban smoking, the bar owner can ban it himself. The city should have no fucking say in the matter.

Nobody should tell any American what they can eat. More than 50% of the things we eat are unnecessary, and to say that trans fat is unneeded makes no sense. If something isn’t done about this, it’s only going to encourage the original lawmakers to seek further efforts to control our diets, and before you know it, it’s going to be 2020 and there will be laws limiting our daily sugar intake.

Nobody, absolutely nobody should be able to tell you what color your car, shirt, house, or absolutely anything else should be. Color is the absolute root of expression, and absolutely any control of it is obvious censorship. Think about your first favorite making decision. I’ll bet it was color, right? The argument is that black automobiles use more energy than other cars. Ask yourself this: What uses more energy: A white hummer, or a black sports car? According to this law, the babydicked hummer owner is the innocent party. The government shouldn’t have any decision in your choice of automobile. As long as you have a license to drive whatever you are driving, that should be all that matters. The cost of fuel is coming directly out of the owner’s pocket.

So, with this being said, where in the hell has the ACLU been when these three laws have been created? Each are in violation of our rights. Are they only holding back because the laws have been written by liberals? I really don’t want to think that, because I’ve long considered myself a liberal. I always thought that conservatives were the pro-fascism party, with their flurry of attempts to limit the lives of homosexuals, and attempts to write the bible into law. Why hasn’t the aclu done anything about these cases? I wrote them about the smoking ban almost 1 month ago, and I still haven’t received any kind of reply.

Leading up to last night, I was really bothered by today’s holiday, valentine’s day. I do believe that western culture has really brought the original meaning of the holiday through several rounds of high-scale corruption, and have also managed to exploit everyday people into worshiping a false tradition, but last night I started talking with this girl I’ve been talking with for about 3 months now, and we kinda got onto the subject of the day, and figured today is an ok day to meet up.

The women that i’ve seen, most of them have lived at least 30 minutes away from me. Francesca was about an hour on the metra, Lisa was about 45 minutes driving from the suburbs, Katrina was about a half hour i believe, Susan was about 45 minutes on the cta… There was one that lived about 20 minutes on the cta, but she didn’t really last very long. This girl lives 3 hours away in Lafayette, Indiana.

So, the train heads out at 5pm, and i get there after about 3 hours, then i’m out of there at 8am tomorrow morning. Yeah, really short trip. Only one train gets there every day, so I’d better not miss the train. I’m not sure what to expect, but what’s the worst that could happen? Heh, who cares. Worst case is i get stuck at a train station for roughly 11 hours. But, that couldn’t be much worse than the valentine’s day i’d have if i stayed here by myself.

Valentine’s day, i don’t completely hate you, you did have a good origin, but people really shouldn’t put this much emphasis upon you. You’ve successfully doubled the guilt of a great portion’s of the nation’s single folk over an absolutely frivolous reason, and you’ve probably even inspired a few suicides out there.

In other news, I haven’t gone out to a bar since that last entry about my neighbor mike.. January 22nd I beleive was the date of that encounter. I had been meaning to go to a few, but something seems to be holding me away. Once spring returns, I’m going to have to buy a replacement lens cap, a new backpack, and I think I’ll start photographing the city now that i’m more familiar with everything. I’m also working on giving up cigarettes.

I was generally more looked up to when I only smoked pot, and didn’t run around with any other vices. Pot is probably holding me back, and I have been scaling it back to help improve my overall mood, but I feel it’s necessary to use as it helps me relate to people. I’m much more uppity when I’m sober, and that’s usually too much for most people. I can be funny drunk, and it helps me appear more normal according to the people I’ve been drunk around, but I don’t really like waking up after sleeping 4 hours with a hangover.

I’m buying some new blinds to help block the sun out of my windows, because that’s been preventing me from sleeping. I also have a problem sleeping when the wide-open space of my room is too big. I can’t ever sleep for a long time with my closets open, and i can’t sleep with my blinds up. Even with the blinds down, the light shining through is too much.

Several seasons of The Office is on netflix’s ‘instant watch’ thing. You guys should get netflix and watch it.

That’s all. See ya.

Last night I did a lot of walking. I don’t remember a lot of the trip despite being relatively sober throughout the whole thing, but i did get drunk / hungover / sober a few hours before doing this, so it’s kinda complex.

Around 1am I left my house, ran to 35th & halsted, went to an atm and got some money, and then hopped on the north-bound number 8.

I went straight to the back of the bus. It was pretty late on the south side, and as such, the only people on the bus for several blocks were me and 3 homeless people who had sought shelter on the bus. As always, I ignored them, they ignored me, and we had an OK trip until another non-homeless person jumped on around 32nd.

Well, I took the bus up to the blue line, and decided to transfer so I could venture out onto a random stop to see if I could find a new bar to drink at. It was about 1:35am by the time I got to the blue line, so I still had plenty of time to find a spot that would close at 4am. I had known of a few bars that were open until 4, but i’d been to each of them, and wasn’t really interested in standing in a corner drinking because every seat in those places was likely to have been taken.

I took the blue line up to the california stop, got off, and began walking. I went east, and walked down milwaukee avenue in search of a place to drink, but wasn’t able to find a bar to walk into.

As I walked, I realized I was only a few blocks from the home of a girl I used to date. With fear that she would somehow see me in the area, I rounded a corner, and began walking down Armitage, and took that all the way to Humboldt Boulevard. From there, I tracked back south to north avenue, and walked from north avenue back to western, and walked from western to Chicago avenue.

North avenue is a pretty sketchy street, but it wasn’t the worst place I’d been all night. I got to see a car being stolen on north. The driver was speeding straight down the road with the car’s alarm blaring for everyone to hear. I was the only person in the area though. I did see a couple of other people walking alone, but we all stuck to ourselves.

When I got to chicago avenue, I was pretty hungry. So, I went into village pizza and got this vegetarian pizza they had sitting out for the sale of slices. After paying, I walked back out, and stood at what I believed was the east-bound bus stop. I didn’t pay any attention to signs, I just waited for the bus, and got on.

I rode this bus for a good while, and eventually was hit with a suprise. I was on the west bound bus. I immediately jumped off, and figured out where I was. Chicago & Central Park.

Fearful for my life, I put on my best ‘homeless junkie’ face, hunched my posture, and initialized my ‘hungry walk’ back east.

The walk was relatively calm. There were a few people out there, people who resembled pimps and prostitutes. One couple even asked me if I was ok. They said I seemed lost, i mumbled out ‘im nice’ because that’s the kind of thing heroin addicts say, and continued to slowly walk back east.

As I walked two different buses passed me. One even pulled away without opening the door with me standing right at the bus stop. After screaming various threats of terrorism against the cta out loud, as the driver pulled away, I continued walking, and eventually go to my original starting location, western.

I prettied myself back up, because I was no longer in the ghetto, and hopped on the loop-bound bus to chicago & state. We got to the stop relatively quick, and I transferred to the redline which I took back home to 35th.

At 35th, I realized that we were out of toilet paper, as well as several other essentials for the home, and I was hungry because I was only able to eat half of my slice of pizza before the west-bound bus showed up. I stopped into subway, and got a sandwich. The great thing about the subway in bridgeport is, it’s open 24/7. So, you can walk in at any time, and eat reasonably good food. I checked my phone, it was 6am. I finished up eating, left, and went next door to the 24/7 cvs, where I bought tp, air freshner, some bathroom stuff cleaner, and some cold meds for my coughy self.

The walk home was kind of nice. It was pretty calm, nobody was outside, almost silent. I then got home, unpacked, caught up on some internet things, and passed out at about 8.

2pm, back up. Oh, this insomnia is killing me inside.

So, i ended up going out at about 11pm the other night for drinking. I didn’t have anyone to drink with, but i needed something to do and felt booze would ok to consume. I had a train to catch early in the morning, so I decided to stay local to bport and drink at a bar called Mitchell’s.

I’ve talked about mitchell’s before. There are 4 bars within a few blocks of me, half of which are inhabitable by good people, but all bars seem to attract at least a small majority of dickheads.

Well, I stumbled my way through the snow, and got to mitchell’s after about 10 minutes. I then stood outside the bar for a few minutes and smoked a cigarette. While I was smoking, my neighbor mike walked up to me and started bragging like he always does about knowing someone who owns the bar. I usually silently doubt mike, because I’ve caught him lying to me many times before, but he seemed pent on drinking with me in this bar, and I really couldn’t dodge him. So, we walked in, and sat down.

Mike immediately left my side, and went to the other side of the bar and started talking to some guy he knows. “god i hope he’s gone” i thought to myself. I know mike doesn’t have a job, I know that he’s probably going to try and get me to pay for his drinks, and I know that I’m too weak to say no to the guy. Well, mike was over on the other side of the bar trying to scam drinks out of that guy, and I was sitting by myself waiting for the bartender to stop small chat with the other patron.

Ten minutes later, I’m still staring at the bartender waiting to order my pint of guiness, and he finally noticed me. The bar wasn’t crowded, but I guess he was preoccupied, and simply didn’t notice me. When he came over, he gave me a free pint of guiness to say sorry, and I began to drink.

Halfway through the glass, mike returns to the bar stool next to me, and shortly after walks up the guy he was talking to in the corner. Apparently the guy did know mike from previous encounters, but i didn’t really care. Mike’s friend was about the same age as him, and much bigger than him. Mike continually referred to him as “the kush man” because he’s a fucking idiot and loves to talk about weed all the time despite never having anything of actual quality. I’ve spent hours deseeding the shit he’s sold me when I first moved to the neighborhood, and I’ve smoked with him out of his personal supply, and he never has good stuff. I have 20 year old nerd white guy friends who have better pot than him. Mike exaggerates everything he has in his life, and will continue to serve as an example of why it is bad for a person to have a big ego for the rest of time.

Well, mike asks me what I’m drinking, i tell him what i’m drinking, and he starts to brag about some bullshit he drinks that’s imported from mexico and sold at the rate of $5.50/tinyfuckingbottle. He’s currently drinking out of one of those ridiculous 16oz bottles of bud light that they’ve been selling. “oh yeah?” i say to him, “have you ever had guiness?”. He seemed ignorant to the ways of dark beer, so I let him have a sip. “thats not bad man, but modello is so much better”. He would then go on to order a modello, but never offered me a sip. “Great job selling modello, mike” i think to myself.

Mike’s friend was drinking the same thing as mike, but didn’t seem nearly as enthused about the situation. Mike would eventually walk outside to smoke a cigarette, and his friend would tell me that he doesn’t know how to talk to mike, because he doesn’t believe a word that the guy says. “you too, huhh?” i say. “yeah, i guess…” responds the older gentleman.

Mike would eventually return, and when his friend left he began to call him the n word, and told me that his friend is a coke addict.

When Mike left, his friend started talking to me, and then told me that he would be going down the street a few blocks to buy some coke. “oh, what kind of price?” i asked, having not done coke in roughly 2 years, and having only done it once, I was well overdue for a miniparty. He gave me a small rundown of some prices I couldn’t afford, and I ended up just telling him that i was alright with the pot i have in my desk at home.

Well, mike came back, and showed off some of his tattoos, one of which is his wife’s name “particia” written in cursive across his forearm. He then went on to rant about how his wife is worried about him going out to bars, which i don’t blame her, but i don’t want to get in an argument with mike tonight because i know he’ll take everything way too far.

As the night progressed mike would drink the modello, and I bought him a carbomb because he’s never had one, which he completely fucked up by pouring the shot into the glass rather than dropping the shot into the glass, and he drank more budweiser because he doesn’t know any better, and eventually came time for him to go leave with his cokehead friend to buy drugs in the bad part of town.

“hey mike, can you give me 5 bucks?’ he says. I’m already a little drunk, and a fulltime pushover, so i throw him 5 bucks. Then he says again “sorry mike, can i have another five?”, “no, i’m not going to give you 10 dollars when I’ve already bought you a drink tonight”, “come on mike, i don’t want to look like an asshole” he says, “fuck off” i say.

He paid his tab, and left the bartender a dollar tip for well over an hour and a half of service that was riddled with free drinks from the bartender for some reason.

After mike left I was still there. THe bartender came back, saw the dollar tip, and had a disappointed look on his face. I would go on to drink a pint of bell’s lager, and left the bartender a $28 tip to make the bartender feel better about being fucked over by mike.

I then stumbled across the street and grabbed a couple of chicken tortas, and began hiking back. When I reached wallace, the street I live on, I began walking south, and as I was walking back into my home I could hear a faint yelling. Sure enough, it was mike. he was upset, probably because I wouldn’t give him the money he needed to impress the bartender with a fancy tip. I then decided that he wasn’t worth the time, and went into my building.

The following day, I took amtrak out to bloomington, IL, and drank a completely unhealthy amount of alcohol with some friends who own a tech company out there. Over the course of 6 hours we each drank roughly 10 to 14 pints of guiness, 4 carbombs, and i drank a couple of glasses of wine for good measure. At the end of the night we had run up a bill of about $400 for their company credit card, I had been given a job offer that would require I move to bloomington to teach their staff for 6 months, and later move to new york to manage their datacenter. They say they’re prepared to offer me 48k, but i’m really not sure if I want to leave my current job and chicago. I do kind of want out of this city, because the lack of social contact is really killing me, and i believe i could use a fresh start in a new city, but i’m also pretty sure none of my social habits will change, and I’d probably be more lonely out there.

I’ve been losing my hair since i was 19.

In this 25th year of my life, my hair’s pretty bad looking, and could definitely benefit from complete removal. Su told me to shave it all off earlier this week, and I’m fixing to get it all cut off tomorrow, or monday.

I’ve read a bunch of stuff about balding. Of course, I’ve considered resorting to treatment, but I really don’t like the idea of treating it. To seek treatment is to admit that there is something wrong. There isn’t anything wrong with it. It’s a normal part of some people’s lives, and society’s put too much emphasis upon it being a bad thing. Some women will even hassle you about it, which is bullshit. If a woman hassles a guy about losing his hair, society won’t care. If a guy hassles a woman about her breasts being small, he’s immediately declared a monster. Of course, the guy is a dickhead, however the woman is just as terrible of a person for hassling the guy about something that just naturally happened to him.

You don’t hear about the good side of balding. Thanks to this wonderful condition, my testosterone is built up to a ridiculous degree, and with this, many benefits come forth. Afraid you’re going to get mugged if you’re walking around a rough area in the middle of the night? Not happening if I’m around. I’m 6′4 with a fuck-everything attitude. The mugger’s going to be lucky if he manages to walk away with two functioning eyes.

Additionally, my sex drive has also been built up with the loss of hair. Combine this with my generally selfless lifestyle, and my goal is to give whoever I’m with as much pleasure as they can stand before I’ll even consider finishing.

There isn’t anything wrong with losing your hair. It’s been happening for hundreds of years, and guys seem to be balding earlier and earlier as time goes on.

On the night of my birthday, I started walking, and ended up walking like 20 as-literal-as-possible miles to a west suburb. Some place called Maywood. This trip took me straight through the ghetto, where people treated me much nicer than the people i’ve encountered in the ritzy parts of town, which changed my outlook on what parts of town I would like to hang out in.

If you are depressed, or lonely, the ghetto is the best place you can go. People in the ghetto look out for their people. If life has you down, you’ll be able to relate with the people who live there, and they’ll treat you like a human being, regardless of your race. Pretty much any time I go to the north side of town depressed, people look at me as if they saw my photo on the a news segment about a serial killer. They offer no help, they just looked at me with their smug fucking faces, and held their breath as they walk by. When I visited the ghetto, I actually had people ask me if i was ok. They didn’t care that I was white, I didn’t care what their race was. We just treated eachother like human beings, something most of those northside fucks could never do.

I think I’m going to get my bike fixed today, and I’m going to start traveling far out distance with it. Walking that far actually crippled me a little bit for 2 or 3 days, but it was still an enlightening experience.

I think i’m getting more used to being a loner. Maybe I am destined to be alone forever. I’ve been a decent human being for a while now, if people still can’t accept me, then so be it.

On 4/20/2008, I went to meet a girl I’d met in the casual encounters section of craigslist. org. Her name was francesca, we’d never met before, never even spoke on the phone, however we did chat online, and exchange pictures. She’d known me for maybe 1 week before we met up, but she and I were both pretty anxious to get together.

So, I gussied myself up in my favorite shirt and pants, made myself look the best I could, and took the afternoon metra train out to her place in suburbs. Of course I was a little nervous, and a little anxious as well, I tried to throw logic at myself, and told myself ‘if you don’t think positively of yourself nobody will think positively of you’, however it was still being offset by the fact that I believed I would be blown off by that girl, and due to go home depressed for another day.

I eventually arrived in her house, and was my usual, quiet self. She was talkative, and I only responded to what she was saying. That’s one problem I have, I never bring up new subjects with strangers. Possibly because I recognize I don’t think about normal things, and that I believe certain people might take offense.

Well, I sat there in her living room, we talked a bit, smoked a little, and then we realized that our lighters were dead. No problem, there’s a party store a few blocks from her apartment. So, we walk over there, buy lighters, walk back to her apartment.

Then when we got to her apartment, sat back down, smoked, and I began to have strange cravings for orange soda, but i never mentioned them. Then, she just broke out of nowhere and asked “So um, what’s the matter dude?”, “what? nothing, what’s wrong?”, “you’re just acting kind of weird… um… do you know what aspergers disorder is?”.

This one line took grip in my mind. “what? uhh uhhh uhhhh no… no i don’t think i have that. um… i don’t know” I replied. Quickly, my mind began to degrade towards the worst feeling in the world. I’d been accused of having a mental disorder by a date. She then got a phone call from her friend, and she actually began describing me to him. Out loud. As I began to break into an anxiety attack, as she spoke to him, She would eventually get off the phone. I was still in shock from the amateur diagnoses I had been given, as I know people who havs aspergers, and it’s definitely not something that I am comfortable having.

She got off the phone, and we just had a short conversation about what’s wrong with me, and I began to unravel. Of couse I’m high, she is too, but I just began to rant obsessively about what was happening, when she suddenly kissed me, and the afternoon was on from there.

If she hadn’t kissed me, and nothing had happened, I would have probably gone home and killed myself that day.

We would end up meeting a few more times, had a good time, but eventually she lost interest in me, and we haven’t seen each other for a few months now.

Then, several weeks later I was standing in the kitchen with my roommate allison, and she accused me of having the disorder as I well. This, and francesca’s prior accusation combined in my mind, and slowly began to re-degrade me. Yeah, I got laid immediately after being accused by francesca, but I’m never going to have sex with allison, so there’s no way to undo the effect of what she said.

If you think you know someone who has a psychological disorder, don’t tell them about it. Especially if it’s a disorder that’ll affect how that person acts in social situations. Just don’t. It was pretty obvious to me that something’s wrong with my mind before either of these women knew me, It’s probably obvious to the friend that you think has the same disorder. By diagnosing us out loud, you are essentially rushing us to figure out what’s wrong, which is likely to cause even more problems for us.

here’s something for you

A few nights ago I didn’t have anything to do, and I got another application for Mike P. Bailey from capital one in my mailbox. So, I mustered up some coherent thought, and dialed them to be greeted by this somewhat southern 48 year old hag who sounded like she’s been chain smoking daily for the past 10 years.

I explained to them how the last call went down. How I gave cingular a fake name 3 years ago at my old address, and had called AT&T giving them information related to my real address, and my home address, and had been told that both accounts were out of their solicitation databases, and how i’d somehow started to receive applications for both mike p. bailey and paul m. bailey in my mailbox, and how no other company has records for mike p. bailey in their database except for AT&T.

Well, this woman told me straight away that AT&T never sells information to other companies. I argued that it was impossible for capital one to think mike p. bailey lives here as AT&T is the only company that has that name and this address. She then told me about how she’s been an AT&T customer for the past 30 years, and had never had any issues with them. I then began to say “i deserve compensation for this” and she immediately broke in with “wohh wohh wohh”, and actually, litterally told me, and I quote “We don’t know that!”. Can you believe that shit? The woman almost explicitly called me a liar. I never gave a single company on this planet the name of Mike p. bailey, how else could capital one make the connection between that name, and this address, without getting that information from AT&T? What the hell is this shit? AT&T just lied to me, and now i’m getting two applications per mail dropoff from random companies because AT&T wanted to make a buck off me.

It’s bad enough that they’re kicking my ass with this $60/month phone bill, and also recording my phone calls to give them to the government whenever they hint at the idea. Do they really need to butcher me threefold with this blatant abuse of my account data?

This guy

I’ll admit it, I’m a pervert. I regularly search craigslist for local people in hopes of finding that one wonderful person who will finally have sex with me. However, any god damn time I search craigslist for “bridgeport” (my neighborhood), this dude’s ads show up, and I end up clicking only to see that face, a picture of his flat ass, and a picture of his most likely aids filled dong.

I’ve seen this guy post all kinds of crazy stuff. From tales about dudes in my neighborhood having sex in alleyways, and him bringing people to them, to stories about him wanting to have some ‘uninhibited sex’ with whoever is willing to respond to his ad. I don’t know about you guys, but the phrase ‘let’s have uninhibited sex’ always makes me think “hi, i have aids. Let’s have unprotected sex so we can both have aids.”.

This guy’s whole presence on craigslist just has me creeped out to no end. Any time I go out for a walk in my neighborhood I’m nervous that I’m going to see him, and he’s going to throw me into his van where he’s going to give me all kinds of weird STDs. Hell, just the other night when I walked up to CVS and I could have sworn I saw him.