For a few years in high school i was a straight edge kid.

Straight edgers don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, or be promiscuous. Some of them took the vow as far as to become vegans, and even stay away from caffeine.

I became a straight edger after watching america’s most wanted, and hearing about a group of straight edge guys who took the vow as far as to attack anyone they saw drinking, and smoking. A few of the straight edge kids actually got together, and did drive-by’s in the city they lived in.

After hearing about them, I researched the straight edge lifestyle, and decided It would be the right thing for me.

So, i started listening to some straight edge bands: earth crysis, a few others. They were OK, but i wasn’t too wild about them. I just enjoyed being part of the cause.

Part of the straight edge thing is drawing x’s on your hands. It’s supposed to reflect what’s done at clubs, when you can’t order alcohol. So, i started doing that every day.

Then one day I was standing in the lunch line, and i got waved over by this older kid. He lifted up his long sleaved shirt, and showed me some drug free tatoos that he got on each of his arms. He went on to tell me about straight edge being bad news. Aparently he had been straight edge, and he joined a gang of them. Then, he ended up leaving the gang, and doing drugs. From there, the gang proceeded to threaten him, vandalize his stuff, and even break into his home to steal stuff.

I continued being straight edge. I talked with the guy a few more times, all was cool.

One day I started browsing a straight edge website, and I met a girl named Jessica. She lived up north, and was straight edge. I started talking with her on AIM, and IMs moved on to phone. We talked every day for along time, and remained friends on AIM.

Then one day i got grounded from the computer for a long time after I got suspended from school for posting the top ten hottest girls of oxford high school. Jessica and I continued talking on the phone. She announced getting a new boyfriend, and I was pretty sad, but i was OK with things. Then I started hanging out with a guy from school named seth.

One day, Seth got me to try pot. I did it, enjoyed it, and continued doing it.

After that first time, I got on the phone with jessica and let her know that I had tried pot. She got really mad at me, and quit talking to me.

When I got back online, some guy that she knew started harassing me. Saying him and his ‘crew’ were going to find me, and beat me up. I didn’t take him seriously.

Jessica hasn’t spoken with me since, and her straight edge friends never came to my house. Perhaps it’s better that I not be friends with people so judgemental, and controlling.

I could return to being straight edge, but the people are assholes. In addition to that, it’s gotten kind of religious, and there’s all kinds of wacked out people joining in on the cause.

yeah kids i’m awake

ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

last night we had chinese. i was yummified.

I’m gonna go out for a long long bike ride as soon as the drier finishes it’s run. I’m gonna try and do about 20 miles. We’ll see how that works out. I’m probably going to try and get lost somewhere out on some highways, here in oakland county. I’m not sure which direction I’ll travel. Either south, or west.

South would be less lost-making.

Man i’m tired… Maybe I shouldn’t be doing it.

I think i’ll just go up town and get lunched. Then I’ll come back home for rest, then go back out after food processes.

and that’s all I have to say. Here’s some lyrics for the people who were googling the title of this post:

Absolute shibari, cold noodles and hot sake
The mistress bar in Roppongi is the place
For Japanese hardcore, not the kind you’re gonna find at the record store
Not the kind designed for the kind hearted

Do not pass go, do not get bail
Go directly to Osaka Jail
Where you get locked or drunk under the table

For just under 10,000 yen
You can visit hell and come back again
For the process of hurting and healing
Cake and candle wax dessert
It’s not fun ‘til someone gets hurt
Who’s the next to get hung from the ceiling

So if you want rewards and consequence
They got the cool and unusual punishments
Get on your knees for Japanese instruction
Rope and Cigarette burns, forget about any health concerns
This is pure assisted self-destruction

Kanpai and bottoms up, unhelping hands hogtie you up
One bad deed surely deserves another
Bruised from bamboo caning
Coming home try explaining this to your significant other
Good fucking luck…

i haven’t slept so fuck you.

got bike back, it’s still screwed up. woohoo incompotant mechanics.

biked anyway, ran into alex williams, didn’t stop. i had a lot of stuff on, so he probably couldn’t recognize me.

i sweat a lot when i wear a jacket. no more jackets on trips starting now.

wind from the south makes excercise difficult.

I realized that when i go riding, i’m not in my excercise mode, but my “make trip easy” mode. I should be thankful for the wind, it’s making me produce more energy to get skinny.

i want a hawaiian shirt.

i have a head ache because my helmet prevented my head from obtaining the oxygen that i needed to not have a headache.

then the allergies, ugh.

got lights, yeah, dad couldn’t manage to mount it on my bike because of whatever engenering problems there are on bike.

If you are fat, do not buy a trek 6700. you will break it.

what the fuck is there a truck outside for, it’s 12;31am

have you guys ever seen a kerry/edwards, or even remotely democrat sticker on a truck, or SUV?

that’s all.

and i hope swr finds his dog.

Earlier this year, I was taken out by two of my friends; peter and jade. They picked me up, and then picked up this girl who they planned to set me up with. Right away, I could tell that she was young. So, I told her I thought she looked young. She of course, denied it, and I proceeded to not take interest in her for the rest of the night.

That evening, I logged onto myspace, and found her profile, to verify that she was in fact 16 years old. After finding that, I went on to yell at peter and jade for being such assholes, and went on to forget all about the girl.

Tonight, I started randomly browsing the myspace profiles, and I saw a girl whose name was “I hate my baby’s daddy”. Naturally, I clicked to visit her profile, where I planned to have a good laugh at her poor judgement.

And that laugh was had. Just read this section of her profile:

“For all of you with those lingering questions yes i am gunna be a mommy and yeah im happy about it!!!”

That’s not the whole thing, but it’s enough.

After that, I clicked to view all of her pictures, and I was shocked.

IT WAS THE SAME GOD DAMN GIRL THAT PETER AND JADE HAD TRIED TO SET ME UP WITH EARLIER THIS YEAR!

Holy fuckin’ shit.

I am so happy I didn’t have sex with that girl.

It is.

I read about it here

i had an idea aminute ago, so i yelled at dennis about it

[02:58] mikey: write a recipe for barbeque spagetti
[02:58] mikey: with barbequeue sauce
[02:58] mikey: cooked on a grill
[02:58] mikey: in some tin foil thing

that’d be great.

The number of people I know if supersceded by the number of people that know me.

Almost any time I go out, someone will say “hey mikey”, and seconds later I will be asking them who they are, and any time I ask them who they are, they tell me who i am, and act like I’m supposed to know them.

Perhaps I have a bad memory, and I was once best friends with all of these people.

Throughout the highschool years, I was known as the fat guy who was funny, sometimes annoying, and knowledgable of computers. They would often ask me how to get past the school’s filtering proxy, and I always told them to just change the proxy in internet options.

I don’t know. I’ve been meaning to find out where kids my age hangout. I haven’t seen any of them at the bar. Well, that’s not true. I saw one girl who I knew, working at the bar.

That was a suprising incident. In high school, she was a really polite religious girl. Then I went to the bar, and she was wearing a low cut shirt, serving drinks. She had just gotten the job, and wasn’t completely familiar with the enviroment. She had to write up a cheat sheet to figure out how to make certain drinks, but she didn’t have much trouble pouring shots for me.

Other than her, I haven’t met many people in their early 20s at the bar. Most of them go to parties, because some of their friends are underage. Maybe We’ll all meetup at the bar some time when we’re all in our 30s.

That’s all I have to say. Laterios, People.

The fucking wind!

Wind is something which can be linked to almost every problem on earth.

• It costs you money, by requiring your car to produce more energy to move in a direction opposite it
• It costs oil companies money by powering your vehicle without the need of oil, thus driving up the cost of oil, because the companies producing it aren’t making enough money!
• It keeps fat people like me from riding our bikes, or running against it, thus increasing the national obesity epidemic
• it destroys the homes of people who live in trailor parks, thus making them ignore the real problems facing society, thus segregating the country into those who pay attention to society’s problems (eg: the war), and trailor park people who don’t know about the problems, and therefore think that it’s just liberal animation
• So many leaves blow off our trees every years, we have to hire illegal immigrants to clean them up
• wind causes hurricaines and shit end up destroying countries, and the homes of other rednecks!

This list could go to the point where the webpage would be nearly 8.7 terabytes in size!

Just today, I tried riding my bike, but wind coming from the north, south, and western parts of michigan prevented me from completing my 10 mile goal. I could only do 5 miles!

I have constructed a plan which involves surrounding every town on earth with a 400 foot wall, with a single garage door in each town for travel. I have wrote my state’s congress members, and I hope you people do the same.

For the longest time, I’ve had frightened out of my wits any time i encounter a snake. Whether it be slithering by on a trail, sitting in a glass case, or just doing it’s thing while being filmed on television.

The other night, I was sitting at dinner, and I thought back as far as I could to when I wasn’t afraid of snakes.

It was a sunday morning, I was only 8 years old, and me and the family had sat down to watch cartoons on nickelodeon. Well, the cartoons played through, and those were all good fun. Then, around 11:00am, a nature show came on. On this particular show, there was a segment where a man was going out in some place.. arizona i think, and looking for snakes under rocks.

On his first rock lift, there was nothing. He said to the camera “I was lucky that time, let’s do another one”. He then approached another rock, lifted it up, and low and behold, three colorful, hissing, pissed off snakes were found, and at the moment he lifted that rock, a glass shattering scream came flying out of my mouth.

It was a combination of focusing on the television too hard, how close i was sitting, and my mind’s interpretation of danger that sent me into shock. For what seemed like hours, was only seconds. I was stuck there, freaked out about what I had just seen. I managed to walk away from the incident, but for the rest of my life I have had an extreme fear of snakes.

One time in my late teens, I was walking around by myself, just looking for something to do. As i wandered up to a rock, it was my intention to find some spray paint cans that the seniors had left over. As I approached this huge rock, i didn’t see anything. But when i reached the rock, i looked over to the other side, and i saw a group, or single snake(s). At that very moment, I went into shock, but this time i knew i was in shock. My mouth opened and closed very quickly, and I just went running. I wasn’t always the best runner, but that was the fastest, and furthest I had ever ran in all my years as a teenager.

All these experiences have set me back very far. Snakes are the reason I don’t go biking at my dad’s biking trail. Snakes are the reason I avoid man types of wilderness, simply because i’m afraid one of them is going to jump out at me. Any time a snake pops up on a show like fear factor, survivor, wonder showzen, and every other show, I have to close my eyes, or turn the channel. I just can’t stand the sight, or thought of them.

So, that’s why i’m afraid of snakes.

In recent months, I’ve seen a lot of real big pussies sitting up on their high horses, speaking of what a real man is, and more often than not, they are simply speaking for women, saying nothing but what the women want to hear.

These statements have come solely from men whose primary audience are women, specifically the overweight, and angry breed. These are the women who accept what the host is saying as the very minimum. However, reasonably decent women also pay attention to these guys, as the statements of these guys also appeal to them.

Who are the guys spreading these false ideas? The usual suspects: Dr. Phil, Daytime Court Judges, Maury Povitch, Montel Williams, some of those broads from the view, writers for askmen.com, etc.

What do they think a real man is? Basically, someone who will sacarfice all of his personal preferences, and money for women. They’ll say real men don’t need porn, always pay on dates, will stay with his girlfriend even if she gets pregnant against his wishes, will marry his girlfriend if she gets pregnant, doesn’t need sex, etc. Pretty much anything a man can sacarfice to a women under any circumstances will define what a real man is according to these guys. They’ll also try to link some religious belief in with what a real man will do.

So what is a real man?

Someone with a penis, and facial hair that grows in by itself. It doesn’t matter how they’ll handle a situation, or what they’ll do for women. What those talkshow hosts believe is a real man, is only a chivalrous man. A chivalrous man is no more, or no less of a man than the non-chivalrous men.

Unless the chivalrous man chops off his penis, then he’s probably less of a man.